Ah, humans. So much alike and yet so very different in so many ways. We are an interesting bunch, and never more so than when it comes to sex. Do you think you are a real sexual “weirdo” with such off the wall desires that people will never be able to understand you? Fear not. No matter how odd you think you may be, someone else out there will have you beat. Without any further ado, we proudly present the top 5 oddest sexual fetishes out there. How odd, you ask? Pretty damn odd…
The chances are high that you have never fantasized about being a couch or end table; but if you have forniphilia, the thought of being a lamp would get you all hot and bothered. Whether you approach it from a submissive angle or an exhibitionistic one, for some folks nothing makes them more excited than being a handy footstool.
The granddaddy of forniphilia is Jeff Gord, a man who both coined the term and explored the concept like no other. His site The House of Gord took forniphilia in such extreme directions it became memorable one of a kind art. Ever thought of turning a woman into a chandelier? Gord did. And he did it with flair.
Unlike people with a bestiality fetish, furries do not fantasize about hooking up with man’s best friend. Instead, they want to BE man’s best friend. And THEN they want to hook up with each other while meowing enthusiastically. Furries find nothing more relaxing than dressing up as a giant squirrel or cat and then acting out said animal behavior.
There are even conventions where furries can hang out with their fellow fetishists. During the daytime, convention activities are more along the lines of fashion shows and networking with other furries. It is at night that the yiffing happens. Yiffing is the term for furry sex and it is no doubt a complex business. Are there panels built into the giant panda suits for easy access? Or is it mainly dry humping? Attend a furry convention and you can probably find out for yourself.
Is your life just too overwhelming at times? Do you sometimes crave going back to being a baby that has no responsibility and is just loved and doted over all day? Adult babies do. They crave the freedom and innocence of lost childhood and regain it by sitting around in giant adult sized diapers while sucking on pacifiers. Adult diapers with cute little bears and hearts on them are a thriving business with multiple companies offering their wares. Our landfills are actually filling up with extra large diapers because some people out there want to give up on their bowel and bladder control.
While most of us tend to find a full set of working limbs handy and desirable, those with an amputee fetish get aroused by missing parts. From just a finger to multiple missing limbs, amputee lovers love those who are lacking. Due to how easy Photoshop is to do these days, there are entire websites devoted just to making celebrities look like amputees. No doubt these doctored photos are thoroughly enjoyed in a variety of ways. If you catch my drift.
When you see a car, the odds are you either value it as an effective means of transportation from point A to point B or you admire it as a beautiful piece of engineering. Odds are you do not want to fuck the car. But if you have mechaphilia the smooth curves of that car call out to you in other ways. For those with a car fetish, those smooth leather seats and open exhaust pipes are irresistible. Hardcore car fetishists name their cars and even consider themselves in a relationship with their wheels. Hey, at least unlike most wives, your car won’t nag you to take out the trash. All she needs is some gas and properly inflated tires.
Sex is an interesting and intricate business that isn’t always easy. But the next time you get discouraged about the ol’ in and out dance, cheer yourself up with the thought that you don’t have to wear diapers or fuck your car in order to get off.
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