Have you heard of Thai Ping Pong shows? Let me break it down to you quickly. It’s a form of VERY explicit erotic entertainment. Think of the most disgusting thing a woman can do with her vagina, multiply that by 100 – you get Thai Ping Pong shows!
Technically, these kinds of shows are forbidden in Thailand. However, tourists seem to really love them, so the demand remains consistently high. As a result, the country’s police corruption “allows” for implicit approval of such shows.
I headed to Bangla street in Patong, Thailand on the second day of my trip. I heard a lot about Ping Pong shows before and just couldn’t wait to see one for myself. Before “the” experience, I had a bunch of shots and other alcoholic beverages with my man, so I was already pretty buzzed.
There are a bunch of Ping Pong show employees, or sales people or whatever you want to call them – working the Bangla street. They jump in your face with a small preview paper of what’s to come and scream, “Ping Pong show! You want? Free! Free!” The show is not actually free; I’ll talk about this later.
I obviously said, “YAS! Take us to the Ping Pong show, mister!” So he grabbed my hand and led me through the mass of drunk tourists and loud locals straight into some sort of warehouse. At the end of the hall, there was a closed door. He knocked on it three times, and a Thai lady appeared to let us in.
“We’re here!” I said, I was so excited. Holy moly, the place was packed. There was a stage in the middle of the room where two Asian looking girls were performing a lesbian scene. It was like a warm up for all the weird shit that was about to hit the spotlight.
We got seated right in front of the stage and were forced to buy an extremely overpriced drink (about $40). Basically, that’s how the place makes money. Entrance is free, but you’re obliged to buy overpriced drinks.
Next to us was an older couple who really seemed to enjoy the show. And so did I! Holy cow, where do I start. In a few words, the show consists of women using their pelvic muscles to eject, hold or blow objects in and out of their vaginas.
Thai (?) ladies on stage pulled out live birds (!!), frogs and goldfish straight out of their vaginas. I have to say, I felt really bad for the animals. They were repeatedly shoved in and out of the girls’ vaginas, then thrown on the floor to crawl around the stage for people’s entertainment.
Another woman pulled out a really long string of sharp razor blades out of her vajayjay. She was also able to open a beer bottle with her pussy. I was completely mind blown.
It’s called a ping pong show for a reason, though – the signature performance consists of a woman shooting ping-pong balls out of her vagina and into the crowd. Yay?
Then two girls came on stage (no pun intended) and started to hand out balloons to the people in the crowd. That’s when I knew that it was my time to shine. I grabbed the balloon and went straight on stage. The same girl handed me two other balloons, so I had three now: one under each arm and one in between my legs. I was told to stand still. The second girl laid down on the stage in front of me with her legs wide open, pussy in the air like she just don’t care. She then grabbed a device that blew darts and shoved it inside of her.
That’s when I thought that, maybe, going up on stage was not the best idea ever. I started wondering, “What if the dart misses the balloon and goes right into my eye? Meh, whatever, I’m too drunk to care right now.”
She aims the first balloon, then “shoots” and I feel it explode between my legs, the crowd goes wild. Needless to say, she effortlessly gets the two other balloons as well. Really good aim, I’m impressed!
After I had got off stage, I had a few more drinks and the rest of the night was a total blur. Moral of the story – you gotta get drunk and get on stage at a Ping Pong show in Thailand too!
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